Mind Your Elephant

(completely forgot to post this a few weeks ago… so here goes)

The last night before leaving Finland we strolled aimlessly in Helsinki with my buddy. We ended up in a café called Regatta, next to the Helsinki rowing stadium. We were not planning to have anything there until we started spotting weird signs. It said “This is a boat” painted in the rowing boat. “This is a wall flower” it said next to a pot of flowers. What really caught our attention was a sign that exclaimed “This is a note! Every time you re-fill your coffee mug we will pay you 5 cents.”

That was so much contrary to what I had experienced just a few days ago (“thou shalt not pass the gulf nay cash”) that I had to ask the waitress if it was real. She nodded and explained that drinking 41 cups of coffee there would be absolutely free. As if we were not perplexed enough already, she added that it’s ok to just get the coffee and come back later if one doesn’t have money – or ask one’s friends to come. We were dumb-founded. This was so distant from the cold harsh “reality” we had grown accustomed to.

The waitress made clear that their policy is to trust and respect people as they are. She insisted we’d stay and started wiping a table for us since it had just rained. I asked to hug her and explained the journey I was about to embark on. She recommended the sweet buns they had but we were happy with just the coffee. So, if you’re ever in Helsinki make sure you go and relax in this small cozy place next to the sea. This is how it should be.

First things first: FRANCE IS A HITCH-HIKER’S HELL! At least the Paris region really sucks and at least for lonely guys with bandannas. It’s been amazingly difficult to hitch rides, even at the toll road booths called péage which are supposedly the best possible places for hitch-hikers… yeah, maybe 30 years ago. But because of these perceived hardships I’ve managed to see more of the country and end up in places which I couldn’t assume seeing. So far Tours is my favorite city in France! I’ve also got a chance to meet up with a lot of CouchSurfers and I’m becoming more and more convinced that it’s going to be one of the mega-trends that shape the way how we behave. Through initiatives like CouchSurfing start trusting each other more. Maybe sometime in the future we can drop the concept of strangers and just talk about friends who haven’t met yet.

Anyways, I’m struggling to find time to write my book. Maybe these few days in Lyon before the Hitch-gathering pre-meeting on Friday allow me to get started. I’m staying in a nomadbase called Casa Bonita. The interesting thing about this place is that you don’t feel like a guest, but more like a peer-host. It’s fairly recent and was started only in May. I kind of like the owner’s straightforward honesty. He says: “I’m not laid back, nor open-minded. I have a problem with most of the population of this world: I support ecology, transparency (in individuals and institutions), constitutional freedoms, social equality and I feel that anyone that does not is an outright asshole. This list gets longer as I’m getting less and less tolerant of the surrounding stupidity. It doesn’t get better since I moved to France (from Germany). If you’re content with the way human affairs are conducted around the world and think that it should not change then… then just fuck off seriously.”

Oh yeah, for those who wonder if I visited Paris, yes I did. But I didn’t do any of those ordinary touristic stuff, so I have no idea how the city center actually looks like. Fine, I did momentarily pass that big artsy-fartsy thingy and the glass pyramid next to it, and I did see the top of that one tower in the distance, but apart from that I just concentrated on the lovely people surrounding me. And here I’m speaking of CouchSurfers again, ‘cos you can’t really say the same of the stressed, bored, scared Parisiennes.

This is part thirteen of Tomi Astikainen’s travel diary on his journey to the European Hitchhikers’ Meeting in Portugal on 6 August 2010… and on a journey to himself. Current location: Lyon. Current mood: relaxed.

When I left Berlin it took me three rides to get going. I met with an interesting Swedish girl who was on her “European Squat Tour”. She proved to be an excellent travel partner and didn’t mind experienced hitching company. She was hungry so I shared whatever little I had and she did the same with me: we became friends quickly and had great conversations. We didn’t mind waiting. After being stranded on a service station for a couple of hours we got an amazing ride with a French fellow, his Volkswagen van and the sweetest dog called Shiva. I could have gone with them all the way to Clermont-Ferrand, France, but I had agreed to meet a Couch Surfer in Stuttgart. It was a bit of a pain to get into the city but the 20KM sign saved me (again!) and finally I got a ride with an amazing Danish family, all the way to Stuttgart railway station.

There I met my near-future travel buddy who wanted to join my trip. She gave me chocolate and multivitamin juice to get my energy level back up – but it could never reach the heights of her super-pepper Duracel bunny drive. I’ll give more details later but let’s just say that the easy hitch to Lyon never happened. Instead we ended up in Zürich, Nancy and next to Paris. Wish me luck.

If I’m lucky enough I’ll get to Stuttgart tomorrow and will be joined by a first-time hitchhiker. I decided to give her some tips that might be useful for others also who are about to lose their hitchinity. Here goes:

• Get a few good markers (fat tip, dark colors).
• Make a re-usable sign so you don’t have to worry about finding pieces of cardboard all the time. I’ve stapled two plastic covers (A4 size) on a cardboard folder so I can just change the paper on the way.
• Bright clothes make you visible to drivers. Dressing smart gives a good first impression.
• Make sure you have a couple of water bottles with you. Re-fill them whenever you can.
• Travel light!!! Don’t take any excessive luggagge. For one week’s travel one small backpack is enough. There’s plenty of opportunities to wash laundry on the road.
• Decide if you want to go far and travel long distances in trucks or if you’d rather take shorter trips in which case the passenger cars are a better (and sometimes faster) option.
• Remember: it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Don’t get frustrated at any point but enjoy every second of it. “There are no ordinary moments” (Peaceful Warrior). Trust the process: someone always picks you up, sooner or later.
• When traveling together with someone you’ll need to agree beforehand whether it’s ok to accept a ride that takes only one person. My general suggestion: no. It can be difficult and time-consuming to get back together later.
• Remember your travel buddy is not a mind-reader. Be honest of your feelings – both positive and negative ones. Respect the fact that there are different personalities and varying needs.
• Getting into and leaving cities is always the most challenging part. Check maps.hitchwiki.org to see the best locations.

For more tips check Hitch Wiki.

Last night we went out to a Sri Lankan restaurant in Berlin. We met the owner, Dilshan, and had a good laugh with him. We ordered wade, pol roti, pol sambol and seeni sambol for starters – with some papadam and Lion lager of course. It would’ve been enough but since proper Sri Lankan food is a rarity in Europe we also ordered the main courses. By the time my excellent beef kotthu arrived I was stuffed already and I had hard time shoving it in. But it was soooo good. For a little while I traveled back in time to my second home country. So, if you’re ever in Berlin make  sure you go to restaurant Sigiriya (Grünbergerstr. 66) and tell Dilshan greetings from the Pissu Suddha (crazy white guy).

Although it’s nothing compared to a real monsoon, it’s raining now. It’s good because the lawns and fields have been scorched by the sun and now nature gets its life force back. In a metaphorical way I can relate to that: this weekend in Berlin is my time to re-charge batteries before embarking on my journey down south.

I would love to hook up with some other hitch-hikers who are also traveling towards Portugal, yet it seems that I’m a bit ahead of schedule. But I don’t want to rush. Slow equals quality. I could have already gone all the way to France with a pleasant Czech truck driver but this voyage isn’t about the destination; it’s about the journey. Although I get to live in the moment, now I have something to look forward to even after the Hitchgathering. I’m going to visit a squat in Lisbon and more importantly there is a chance that in September I might re-connect with someone I really care for…

My extremely good luck with hitch-hiking continued yesterday when I managed to get a ride almost all the way to German border. The driver was amazingly nice and I enjoyed every bit of the ride. I also got assistance from a nice fellow who helped me to the border, got me a hot dog and some ciggies. Moreover, we really connected on an intellectual level: he was familiar with how the world revolves nowadays and knew exactly why I was doing what I was doing. He hated the fact that he was just a small cog in the financial machine and I hope my foolish attempts to exit the system gave him some hope.

Having said that, it was a tough 15 hours altogether to meet my lovely friends in the centre of Berlin. I cherish the fact that I got to see the Polish country side, yet I was completely tattered at the end of the ride. I was about 5-7 hours late of my time estimation but my friends didn’t seem to mind. I felt like I had come home. Berlin is beautiful.

Thank Jehova, Allah and the rest of the lot for Polish truck-drivers! Yesterday I traveled some 900 kilometers from Riga to Skepe and I only had to put my finger up once or twice. One after another the truck-drivers used their radio for me to catch the next ride. They fed me and made sure I get enough coffee and cigarettes.

Only the first one of them spoke perfect English, the rest of them not a single word. I was offered translation services by phone (the driver´s daughter) and something that I really didn´t figure out what it was (another driver´s sister).

After some 12 hours of traveling I came to a beautiful small town in Poland and got a wonderful meal, a nice walk in the forest, a patriotic speech in Polish by a complete stranger and felt very welcome. I wouldn´t mind coming to a town like this to write for a month or two. And it somehow reminds me of Sri Lanka…

Two steps forward, one step back… Had an amazing weekend in Lithuania and because of the amazingness of certain factors relating to it I need to get back to Riga. More later.

—————————————— [hitching with 3 rides back to Riga] ——————————————

…And it was worth it! This was supposed to be a travel blog but now it’s becoming quite philosophical and love-oriented. Well, go read Lonely Planet if this is not your cup of tea.

Rami commented on earlier posting: “Love is one of the characteristics of our true nature.” I second that. We have two underlying emotions – fear and love. All other feelings derive from those two. As far as we’re human we cannot exclude either one of them. Yet, whether you choose to be driven mainly by one or another is really up to you.

Yesterday my head was trying to reason “Go South! Go South! You might not get to Portugal in time if you don’t.” but my heart was saying “Go to Riga. When love presents itself in its serendipitous ways it should not be disregarded but cherished all the way.”

I’m really amazed to notice the whole polyamory thing finally falling in place. It took me a year to figure out what’s the deeper meaning of love and how it can present itself in so many various ways. Only now I’m able to apply it in practice – not only on intellectual but also on emotional level. As Rami quoted Eckhart Tolle: “Love is recognizing the oneness in others”. If we follow our hearts, we can truly be extensional to each other and connect as human beings. Yet there’s a caveat: when you “fall in love” your ego might surface. The thought-tornado might strike: what does she think about me?, am I good enough for her?, can I say this and that?, how can I meet her expectations? The usual… until you realize that none of these matter: she (or he) is there for you and accepts you as you are. Enjoy it while you can.

Tomorrow… The highway calls again.

“You should grow up and take responsibility of your actions.” was a comment I got relating to the previous thoughts. Yes, definitely! That’s a great piece of advice for the whole humanity. Let’s grow up and make sure that all 7 billion of us can start life on equal standing, while taking care of the environment so that the future generations have a habitat as well. Krishnamurti once said: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Funnily enough just after this I somehow ended up on a truckers’ website that had this posting:

“We live in a world of pin numbers, passwords, excessive fees, anti-depressants and Cialis, iPhones and Droids, divorce, unfairness, discrimination, incivility, excessive complacency, international uncertainty and bureaucratic stupidity. Today on Oprah, her guest was a high school quarterback that decided to become a transsexual and then a lesbian. Last night on the Discovery Channel a three year old girl with no face was profiled. That is what we’re watching on television. We exist as part of a global piss contest between little boys with big toys consistently trying to control how we all live and what freedoms we have. We don’t see people, we don’t shake their hands or look in their eyes. We text, E-mail, tweet and Facebook trite little messages about what everyone else is doing, but nobody really communicates.”

Being on the road you get to surprising communication situations. Last weekend two people in two separate instances approached me with the same thought: Don’t you think all these people around us live in a different reality than you and me? These questioners – one from Pakistan and one from South Africa – looked at life differently from the rest of us. They looked around seeing the absurd nature of the way humanity functions at the moment. What if people are not supposed to grow up? What if we’ve lost the connection with who we really are and we are born? What if we should in fact grow down and regain our curiosity, imagination and true connection with other people and the nature?

The trucker piece of advice continued: “Believe me it’s a hell of lot easier to stay on the track you’re on now rather than switch. Switching takes effort and self control, both of which are a pain in the rear.” I’ll keep this in mind and see if I can grow up and become “normal” one day.

This is part six of Tomi Astikainen’s travel diary on his journey to the European Hitchhikers’ Meeting in Portugal on 6 August 2010… and on a journey to himself. Current location: Helsinki. Current mood: Positively perplexed.

Miracles happen when you don’t expect them to… Thanks for everyone for their support and encouragement!

Here’s my free ticket to Tallinn on Friday: